If your spouse just can’t take it anymore

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Today’s show is for all the individuals out there who’ve ever heard the words, “I just can’t take it any longer!” There may not be a more hurtful, anxiety producing statement worse than this one! But there is hope, because I believe in a God of healing and restoration! Do you? One of our listeners wants to know…

How do you respond when your spouse says, “I can’t take it any longer!”
Is there anything she can do to soften her husband’s heart?
If your spouse divorces you, does God hold you accountable?
Are you really trusting God if you’re still worried about your spouse leaving?
Can she stop the divorce?

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SHOW NOTES

“I am in the midst of wilderness where my husband and i met at our church’s youth group and we were both leaders, but as life went on, we then back-slided and attended church every few weeks. We were very frustrated with each other and couldn’t communicate well, God wasn’t really in our marriage even though we married in God’s name and we got married on Resurrection Sunday on 8th April 2012!

Anyway, he has said he can no longer do this marriage and can’t take it anymore and want a divorce. I don’t believe that divorce is God’s plan for our marriage at all and I am not letting the enemy tear our marriage apart. God hates divorce. I just want to know that when that day comes and I stand before God, I know that I didn’t do anything to disobey Him.

I know that since living separately (he wouldn’t see a counselor unless he or I moved out of the home and live separately so i felt like I had no choice but to move out), then him bringing up the divorce I have had to turn back to God and give Him all of me. But I want to know how to fully give it all without constantly thinking about praying that God restores my marriage, I know i have to continuously pray but because i am still thinking about it does that mean i’m not completely trusting God with my marriage?

I wanted to also find out how to help soften my husband’s heart, should i be staying away from my husband, not what’s app (chat message) him about anything and just totally keep silent on my part? I have been seeing a counsellor on my own (the 4th one that I have found which is now dealing with my childhood issues/baggages i have brought along with me into my marriage).

But maybe my short answer would be… Can I stop the divorce?”

  1. How do you respond when your spouse says, “I can’t take it any longer!”
    1. First try and get to the bottom of this statement…what is fueling your spouse’s words?
      1. Which buttons are getting pushed?
      2. What can you own? In other words, don’t blame or point the finger at your spouse but figure out what you can do.
      3. Is there any unforgiveness?
    2. Is there anything she can do to soften her husband’s heart?
      1. Respect his boundaries
      2. Do for your husband what you wish he was doing for you
      3. Be patient through kindness
    3. If your spouse divorces you, does God hold you accountable?
      1. Let’s be clear, we are not God…but I’m pretty confident God holds you accountable for your actions, not the actions of others.
    4. Are you really trusting God if you’re still worried about your spouse leaving?
      1. No…and yes! Ultimately your identity must be in Christ Jesus. But it is part of the human condition of sin to worry, you just can’t stay there.
      2. “You have to trust God more than you trust your spouse.” – Amy Smalley (Not Michael){clearly not Seth}
    5. Can she stop the divorce?
      1. No, and this is important to fully embrace.
      2. But you can set your spouse up to desire reconciliation.

Also, don’t forget…

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