Getting your husband to help


We are quite possibly taking on the most difficult question in the history of the world today on the show. I am almost hesitant to even speak this question aloud, especially since it is being recorded and will be listened to by dozens of people! But here it goes, “How can I get my husband to help?”

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“I work full time but plan to be a stay at home mom in June, Husband is part time pre loader for pkg delivery company, He’s hoping to become full time driver soon. Hoping…He is home by 9 am, sleeps, works out, and watches fishing videos. I’m pregnant, never feel great, work overtime, clean, cook, you get the picture, I’m exhausted. How can I get my husband to help. He ignores my requests and asks me why I’m so tired. I’m physically and emotionally tired.”

  1. Be careful of how you ask for help.
    1. Are you negative?  Shaming?  Critical? Or positioning it in a way where he is going to feel like a failure?
      1. “You can catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
  2. Use a word-picture to get his attention.
    1. Christ used these all the time!
    2. What would speak to your husband’s heart?  Fishing sounds like a good start.
    3. Example:  How would you feel if you and a bunch of buddies went on a fishing trip.  But every single day your buddies slept in and you were the only one that helped get all the gear ready, food ready, and then had to clean the fish and cook it…all the while they hung out together letting you do all the work.
    4. Or if he is going through the same thing at work…
  3. Don’t enable him
    1. If you’re overwhelmed by his laundry, he can do it himself.
    2. Divide up the duties fairly
      1. Each marriage will be a little different, so try and divide up the duties in a logical manner
  4. If all else fails, get accountability or let it go
    1. This is why we love small groups
    2. Sometimes your husband needs to hear it from another man
    3. If he refuses to get involved, Jesus gives us some pretty helpful things to do to help someone change…but you’re not going to like them.

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