How to approach sensitive subjects

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Sometimes a couple needs to have an important conversation about a sensitive subject. Like the time my own wife had to share with me her feelings that every message I gave her didn’t need to end in sex. So how was she able to share this with me without hurting my feelings? That is coming up next on SMR because one of you, our amazing listeners, had this question…

“How do you start sensitive subjects? We have NEVER been good at communicating and discussing things anyway, so this makes it extremely hard.”

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SHOW NOTES

“How do you start sensitive subjects? We have NEVER been good at communicating and discussing things anyway, so this makes it extremely hard.”

  1. Pray and get rid of any expectations
  2. Start with extreme gentleness
  3. Then make it about you and any buttons being pushed
    1. “I think for me, I can feel embarrassed…”
    2. “When this happens, it feels like I’m a failure…”
    3. “It’s important to me, because I can feel disconnected…”
  4. Then ask, “Would you be willing to find a win/win for this issue…”
  5. If they are, then be open to both of you feeling like it is a win
  6. They they are not, let it go, you don’t need them to change anyway in order to be satisfied. You can’t find happiness, you have to choose happiness.
  7. If your focus is on the negative, that this has to change in order for you to be satisfied, then you are going to lose.

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