Arguing about money

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Today we are going to talk about money. I’m sure none of you have ever experienced conflict over money. So this show is probably a waste of your time…which is why we found some pretty profound quotes about money to make sure you stick around and listen:

“Money can’t buy love but it can buy sheets, I like sheets.”

“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days” — Ani Difranco

“Love is like money…hard to find and easy to lose.” Ally Mbululo

“While money doesn’t buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position.” Christopher Marlowe

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SHOW NOTES

“I fight very often with my husband because he is spender, very nice and kind to other people but when he done with all his money he bullies me to give him more. I know we should have one account but I can never do that again because of past several disappointments.

He stops me from buying NECESSARY things for myself and 4 kids sometimes while at same time giving money away to different people (not poor people). He shops a lot for himself he does not want me to work a lot but he does. HE IS A GOOD HUSBAND AND TAKES CARE OF THE FAMILY BUT THIS BEHAVIOR SURFACES VERY OFTEN.

He threatens divorce and calls my family anytime he request money and I refuse.

I don’t keep all my money to myself, I pay for my kids school fees, GROCERY, GAS, buys cloth for KIDS etc.

I know I sometimes speak to him distrustful manner which drives him crazy and he will not eat my food for weeks, gives me silent treatment but will still make sure I transfer money to him on pay days. He will yell and threaten until I do so…

What do I do? We have tried counseling by my pastor but when pastor told him the truth, he fired them and told me he will never go any counseling ever again even he is the one that went to report me to pastor.”

  1. Couples fight about money, but it is never about the money.
    1. It’s about buttons and the Conflict Dance
  2. This listener’s questions feels more about emotional abuse than money issues
    1. Not ok to be bullied about money
  3. Don’t enable this bad behavior
    1. You have more power than you realize
    2. If he can’t honor your finances, then there has to be a boundary set (like separate bank accounts)
    3. I also think you need to see a professional psychologist to make sure his behavior isn’t abusive.

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